Beware the counterfeit, my son

Good poker consists as much in not doing what you shouldn't do as it does in doing what you should do. Last night, I played quite well with one glaring exception; at that decision point, I did what I shouldn't have done. Keep in mind that I'm talking about a perfectly cut and dried situation here. It wasn't a case of doing something I maybe shouldn't do; it was a case of doing something I categorically and unequivocally should never do. Here's what happened: I was dealt Ad 7d, the flop came Js As 4d, and the turn came 7h. I bet $10,000 on the turn, and got one caller. The river came Jd. Here's where I made my bloomer. I should have taken into account that the pair of jacks on the board counterfeited my pair of sevens. I knew that one of my opponent's cards must be an ace, or he wouldn't have bet the way he had. That meant that the turn card had given both of us a two pair of aces and jacks. That meant that this hand came down to his kicker vs. my kicker. If his kicker was better than a seven, I was toast. The correct play for me to make on the river was a check fold; that is, I should have checked, and folded to any bet he made. Instead, I had the stupidity to bet $20,000 on the river. He raised to $23,540 to go all in, and I called. His queen kicker kicked the crap out of my seven, and I lost a pot worth $82,280, half of which was my money. My stealth two pair on the turn had given me a fatal false sense of invincibility, and I didn't do the proper due diligence on the river to make the correct poker decision. Live and learn!

During current Hold'em session you were dealt 158 hands and saw flop:
 - 18 out of 27 times while in big blind (66%)
 - 20 out of 26 times while in small blind (76%)
 - 54 out of 105 times in other positions (51%)
 - a total of 92 out of 158 (58%)
 Pots won at showdown - 13 of 28 (46%)
 Pots won without showdown - 11

delta: $-31,971
cash game no limit hold'em balance: $4,740,384
balance: $7,097,337

Scuba night

Since I was underwater for 139 of the 148 hands I played last night, I dub it a scuba night. I haven't checked, but have a sneaking suspicion I set a personal best for underwater percentage for a winning session (93.92). I hit the felt on hand 69, but was proud of the fact that I was on life support at the end of hand 55 and managed to play another 14 hands before succumbing. Playing severely short-stacked is an object lesson in doing what you need to do to survive.

During current Hold'em session you were dealt 148 hands and saw flop:
 - 14 out of 22 times while in big blind (63%)
 - 9 out of 20 times while in small blind (45%)
 - 50 out of 106 times in other positions (47%)
 - a total of 73 out of 148 (49%)
 Pots won at showdown - 17 of 31 (54%)
 Pots won without showdown - 6

delta: $7,281
cash game no limit hold'em balance: $4,772,355
balance: $7,129,308

Three strikes

In baseball, if you get three strikes, you're out. Often, the same is true in poker. That was the case for me last night. What do I mean by three strikes in a poker context? It's simple. Just sort your hand deltas in descending order by their absolute values, then look at the first three deltas in the list. If they're all negative, that's three strikes, and baby, you are out. Here are the first ten deltas in the sorted list from last night's session:

-17094
-14310
-10986
7500
5458
-4400
3575
3380
-2800
-2200

I didn't play those three hands badly; I had strong holdings, but happened to be up against stronger ones.

During current Hold'em session you were dealt 90 hands and saw flop:
 - 10 out of 14 times while in big blind (71%)
 - 9 out of 16 times while in small blind (56%)
 - 32 out of 60 times in other positions (53%)
 - a total of 51 out of 90 (56%)
 Pots won at showdown - 5 of 14 (35%)
 Pots won without showdown - 11

delta: $-40,000
cash game no limit hold'em balance: $4,765,074
balance: $7,122,027

Windex session

When you're cleaning a bathroom mirror, you don't want to leave any streaks behind. Windex is a great product for this task. When you're playing poker, however, you absolutely want to leave streaks behind. In my nearly five years of playing online poker, I've discovered that good luck comes in bunches. My most successful sessions have been ones where I've won multiple hands in succession. I call this being in the sweetness. If you play long enough and are patient enough, the sweetness will come to you. It won't be your doing, and you can't control how long it will last, but that doesn't matter; what matters is that you recognize your good fortune and ride it as long as you can.

Last night, the most hands I won in a row was a mere two. That hardly qualifies as a streak. That means I essentially played a streak-free session - a Windex session, if you will :-) Here's hoping I can avoid that fate tonight.

During current Hold'em session you were dealt 84 hands and saw flop:
 - 12 out of 17 times while in big blind (70%)
 - 12 out of 16 times while in small blind (75%)
 - 33 out of 51 times in other positions (64%)
 - a total of 57 out of 84 (67%)
 Pots won at showdown - 10 of 19 (52%)
 Pots won without showdown - 7

delta: $992
cash game no limit hold'em balance: $4,805,074
balance: $7,162,027

The magnificent seven

Last night, I had the best in-session streak of winning hands of my poker career. It wasn't the best because it was the longest, funnily enough; I have one longer streak and another streak of the same length. It was the best because it was the longest winning streak where I was playing against a full table. I won seven hands in a row - the magnificent seven. I was definitely in the sweetness, and stayed there as long as I could :-)

During current Hold'em session you were dealt 141 hands and saw flop:
 - 19 out of 25 times while in big blind (76%)
 - 16 out of 27 times while in small blind (59%)
 - 52 out of 89 times in other positions (58%)
 - a total of 87 out of 141 (61%)
 Pots won at showdown - 8 of 19 (42%)
 Pots won without showdown - 19

delta: $13,523
cash game no limit hold'em balance: $4,804,082
balance: $7,161,035

My true poker love

Last night, I did something I almost never do. I played two flavors of cash game poker on the same night. I've only done this three times in my career. Most of the time I have the discipline to stick with one flavor for a session, but last night I got so disillusioned with PLO I just had to make a switch. What a great feeling it was to come back to hold'em! I was returning to my true poker love.

During current Hold'em session you were dealt 87 hands and saw flop:
 - 13 out of 17 times while in big blind (76%)
 - 12 out of 18 times while in small blind (66%)
 - 29 out of 52 times in other positions (55%)
 - a total of 54 out of 87 (62%)
 Pots won at showdown - 9 of 18 (50%)
 Pots won without showdown - 6

delta: $14,579
cash game no limit hold'em balance: $4,790,559
balance: $7,147,512

TH;SP

As you may know, I'm a fan of snowclones and internet memes. That's a redundant statement, given that a snowclone is a type of internet meme. As you may also know, I like inventing my own poker lingo, and also my own snowclone instances. The title of this post is a snowclone instance. The snowclone template is XX;YY; the canonical instance which uses this template is TL;DR. TL;DR is shorthand for "Too Long; Didn't Read". Friends and neighbors, I present TH;SP for your approval. TH;SP is shorthand for "Too Hard; Stopped Playing". After just four sessions of PLO, including last night's, I've decided to stop playing it. The variance is just too high for my liking. It's just too hard for me to make money playing this game. That's the bad news. The good news is, last night I played hold'em after playing PLO, and my brief stint away from hold'em has completely eliminated my feeling of being in a rut.

During current Omaha session you were dealt 55 hands and saw flop:
 - 9 out of 11 times while in big blind (81%)
 - 4 out of 11 times while in small blind (36%)
 - 16 out of 33 times in other positions (48%)
 - a total of 29 out of 55 (52%)
 Pots won at showdown - 4 of 8 (50%)
 Pots won without showdown - 2

delta: $-22,900
cash game PLO balance: $-70,707
balance: $7,132,933